how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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