yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
