Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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