THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
