yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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