I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
