puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
