dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have fence marks all over my body
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
