My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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