She is in my trunk
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
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