All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
