Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
