Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
