We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He better not be in your backpack
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
