just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
