But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
