Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
