im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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