That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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