how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
