whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
we're making bets on your personal life
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize