She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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