..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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