i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
