You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
