Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
