May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
