i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Come share oat with me in your robe
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
