my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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