apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
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