im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
