your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
