I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
