you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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