hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
