I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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