hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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