Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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