OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
