i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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