I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
