How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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