She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
