My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
