Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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