Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
