I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
home. puking in laundry basket.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
