Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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