There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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