I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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