Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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