Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
As shirtless as possible
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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