So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The power of my boobs compel you
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
