So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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