some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
