so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
operation harelip BJ is a go
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
