Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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