is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
