It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
