pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Randomize
