I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
